Friday, March 29, 2019

FMF: Measure

This post is a link-up to Five Minute Friday


We measure our feet to buy shoes, we measure luggage for travel and we measure the depth of water for all sorts of reasons.  Is it too deep for my kid to stand up in? Is it deep enough for this cruise ship?

I read a FB post this week that went something like this...

A person can drown in eight feet of water, another in 20 feet, but they both drowned.

We are trauma parents which brings unique and very difficult challenges to what we found normal  parenting of our oldest and biological son.  People will say- God knew only you and Rex could do this. Or, with exasperated expressions will comment, "I don't know how you do it?"

Often, a friend will begin to share a difficulty they are facing, and then stop and say, but it's nothing compared to what you are living through.  I'm uncomfortable with that because I know that hard is hard. And, I want to be there to encourage them like they are for me. But the measurement of difficulty interferes.

Yes, we've been called to trauma parent, adopt and find our way through pediatric mental illness.  It is so very hard. But that is our calling.  You may not have been called to that - which is why you can't understand it.

My friend Brian has been called to go up against cancer and I'm amazed at how he bravely and tenaciously keeps fighting and smiling. I can't fully understand.

My friends Julie and Shanna, and my niece Missy have buried their husbands way too early by our standards of expectation. I can't fully understand it.

I've seen adultery and divorce destroy people that I love dearly. I could go on.

You have your own hard that you walk every single day.

We tend to measure our stories, our callings and our pain against each other. If it's different, and we can't fully understand it can leave us feeling less than.

Can I encourage you today to not measure your calling against mine? Let's measure our own calling to walk the hard and the happy with God's grace and mercy and wisdom for each of us- which He grants at the perfect time and in the perfect measurement. He is more than.

And, even when His answer is different than our ask, He is always good.

Happy Friday y'all!


  1. I love this! I had a friend in highschool with a rare illness that left her needing a kidney transplant. She was also one of the most joyous people I know. I used to feel guilty for my struggles with anxiety and depression during that time of my life. She wisely told me, "God doesn't give you the strength for my problems, only for yours."
    I often cling to that when I find myself feeling guilty about my struggles in comparison to others. You have a beautiful family and a courageous story. Visiting from FMF today. :-)

    1. She had great advice, good for all of us to remember. Thank you for visiting.

  2. Hey Robin,
    You bless my heart so very much. This is so insightful and so true. We do tend to measure our pain against someone else's pain. Thank you for sharing your gift of words with all of us. I read every post and wish you had time to blog more often. I think you should put together a devotional for trauma parenting. Continuing to pray for YOU and yours!! Sending big hugs from NC.

    1. Thank you. Your are sweet; maybe one day God will take this messy blog and turn it into a book for others to be encouraged by. Sending you a hug back.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...