In the last week or so, I might burst into tears when I pass his room and see him sleeping, with those same curled up fingers, that fist he's made since the womb. I might burst into tears when I see his jeans, boots, t-shirts and toothpaste packed up in the camo duffel bag we bought him for Christmas what seems like decades ago, the one he put his best friend Phillip in to show how big it was. I might burst into tears when I think about I won't know where he is and what he's doing and if he is safe. I might burst into tears when I realize his razor, toothbrush and comb aren't in the bathroom anymore when I open the cabinet. I might burst into tears when I plan the week ahead and remember that he won't be here. I might burst into tears when I see him hold his brothers and whisper that he'll miss them. I might burst into tears just because I woke up this morning and knew it was the last day together before he spreads his wings and flies.
A weird thing happened in this last year since he graduated. This son of mine, in the process of growing up and becoming a man, became my friend. Our conversations have changed. He has supported and been our strength through some tough days.
I know he'll be back. I know I'll see him as often as possible. I know he will always be my Shaynie.
And I also know that things will never be the same, part of me is leaving. And for that, I might burst into tears. Sad and Happy - Proud Hot tears.
I was helping him pack this week and a few things dawned on me that I hadn't been intentional about telling him. Important things that I think he needs to know like...
- Checking pockets WILL save money on laundry; it's worth a few minutes to not have to replace the entire load.
- Don't skimp on Kleenex and Toilet Paper. Buy the good stuff.
- If you're ever not sure if food has gone bad- it has. Throw it away!
- Don't leave your paycheck laying in your unlocked car. Your Dad gets away with it, but most people end up having theirs stolen.
- You can ALWAYS call your Momma!
- Use rectangle laundry baskets. Round ones don't hold enough.
- If you fold your sheets and pillow cases- fold from long end to end first. And those fitted sheets, forget it, just wad them up and be done with it.
- All the Rules and Reminders you hated growing up are now your compass, let them guide you as you choose right.
- You can only reuse a towel so many times before it has to be washed. Trust me.
- Make your bed- it's more relaxing to climb in after a long day of class, work and missing your family.
- You can survive on Ra men Noodles and Pop-Tarts, but eat good when you can.
- Find a good church where you can worship and fellowship with people you connect with. They will be the people who encourage and support you when life gets harder. Don't play church. Be real with your faith.
- You will miss me singing, You are my Sunshine, to you. You won't admit it, but you'll miss it.
- Everybody, even single college guys need a Christmas tree, so I got you a special one.
My baby is moving out, leaving home and taking up residence in another state. And I might burst into tears.
Happy Wednesday y'all!