Thursday, January 19, 2012

On Obedience and Joy and Wisdom and James!

So my man and I've been a bit burdened lately (can you imagine) about a pretty big decision we're tossing around, praying about, researching and scared to death to Just Do it for our middle child. 

We are at the waters edge.  Looking into the beautiful calm waters that taunt us, it looks so peaceful and inviting but can I just say I'm scared.  I fear that as soon as we jump in- those waters will turn into rapids and and pull us to the bottom, drowning us in our own bad choice.

So you can understand how this ties together with my catchy title. enter a simple question from my friend Cheryl asking if I was going to our women's bible study that was getting ready to start.  That was last Tuesday. 

I desperately need to connect with other women; but I knew my boys need me at home to keep them on schedule.  When Rex offered to take home duty so I could go, I was left without excuse.

As God does in His "I love 'ya kid" kind of way He put me smack dab where I needed to be.  In Beth Moore's study on James,  James Mercy Triumphs.   I fought tears throughout the first session- yes, it was the introduction, so what.  And this week, focused on James 1:1 for the entire session, God  spoke to me.  As Beth was closing this week's session she made the comment "the key to joy is in obedience." 

I knew that.  I knew that when we said yes and opened our home to love little people.
But I forgot.
And now, God is reminding me that the joy is in obedience.  Which leaves me to wonder if our big decision is obedience.... or selfish... or pure exhaustion and frustration and running from the war zone?  (see combat boots post)

I don't know for sure yet- but I know that God said if you want wisdom, ask Him for it. 
So we're asking Him. 
We are dangling our toes in that water and checking out the current. 
And whether it remains calm or turns rapid or matters not.  If God says jump, we are jumping!

More to come y'all.

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