Stepping out

sometimes we step out into the new out of fear
sometimes we step out into the new into faith

sometimes the paths cross and when we step into something new in faith-fear tags along.

i wish i could say i was never fearful. 
even in knowing God is in control and loves me, i still get fearful. 

we did some stepping this week. 

we stepped out of daycare. 
completely. 

we're stepping into the unknown.  daycare has been part of our lives since, well, since there was ever a kid in our lives. 

i was feeling confident this morning when i posted the following face book status: 

how do I know God changes us? He took a scared girl who avoided conflict at all cost and blessed her with two special little boys; changing her into the conflict facing queen. And gives her strength everyday to do it again.

stepping out in faith to say "no thank you" to daycare came with conflict, fear and many tears.   

as the day wore on, conflicts grew. and we were more sure than before we were making the right choice. 

our kids deserve more

more than the reputation of being a "social services kid"
more than the assumption that one bad choice means always a bad choice
more than the silly toddler diploma because they forgot to order my son the same one all the other kids got (i'm not bitter, just sayin')

they deserve to have a voice
to be heard
to get the benefit of the doubt 
to be cared for by somebody who cares about them enough to invest attention and time, cares about the little people looking up to them more than the paycheck
they deserve truth- given and received

they deserve us. 
mommy and daddy.
and by faith, they're getting more of us.

we have some details to work out, but i'm thankful that rex's job has flexibility allowing him to be home when the kids get out of school. thankful for a sister who has our back. 

thankful that even in conflict, good things come.

thankful that faith is stronger than fear.

Later y'all!