Thursday, August 18, 2011

There's an Amusement Park in My Head

You might have noticed I haven't been here for a while.  Not by choice.

Nearly two weeks ago, I went to bed all snuggled up next to my hubby. About an hour later, middle child joined us, to my right.  A bit later, baby child joined us, to my left.  Hubby waived the flag of surrender and headed to the couch.  All was normal.  Baby child continued to ask questions about every 10 minutes, and each time I lifted my head to look toward him and answer, I noticed the spinning.  Assuming I was just tired from the non-stop questions like, can I have a brownie, is it morning, are you sleeping and other sweet moments shared with this precious non sleeping child, I paid it little attention.  Until about 2 am when I was fully aware that Nothing was normal. 

By 5am I could no longer stand, hold my head up or move, without my husbands help, and by 7am the violent spinning was now causing vomiting.  We were at the ER by, oh, early where we spent the day.  So romantic!   CT Scans, IVs, blood work and lots of really good Valium and other med's but no improvements.  As I continued to grasp the bed for a false sense of stability, the Dr. offered to let me spend a few thousand dollars and sleep in their not-so-comfy beds for a day or more.  With three kids and a hubby and oh so much to do, I opted to go home thinking his "about a week" diagnosis was over-kill and I'd be back on my feet by tomorrow.  I had things to do, you know.  Promptly upon stumbling into my house, I headed straight for bed and, except for a couple of hours on Wednesday, and a few on Friday night, I stayed there flat on my back for the week. 

I know people came and went,  I vaguely remember children screaming a few times, and distinctly remember by baby son asking, "can we ask God to make mommy better?"  Life kept happening all around me, I just couldn't participate in, or control it
Basically, I lost a week of my life and have nothing to show for it.  Well, except a lot to do....

This, as you can imagine is making me a little insane. 
I, being a person of order who likes to control things, all things was once again reminded that things can change in an instant.  I was completely at the mercy of the amusement park wreaking havoc in my brain.

Things are improving, but have not yet "left as suddenly as it appears" in my case, and seems more like the case that could hang around for a while.  Frustrating, is the increased dizziness that comes after working on the computer for several hours.  Not only is this my job, but my passion and enjoyment.  I'm praying God will take the vertigo away soon. 

Until then, I will remember how blessed I am to have people in my life who, with a phone call dropped their plans and made adjustments in their "order" to help my family while this mommy and wife was completely useless. 

Glad to be back,

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