Backwards. I used to think of it as a negative- loosing ground. Having to start over. When we started foster parenting, and now as adoptive parents, backwards has taken on an entirely new meaning. It feels like I live my life going backwards.
Progress in therapy- then boom- back to where we started. Progress in getting them to bed at night; and something brings out a fear in them, that nobody can see and we're back to the 1 hour hold my hand till I fall asleep.
Thankfully, God is giving me a different perspective on backwards. A thrill ride perspective, if you will. I love roller coasters, and riding backwards is my favorite, you get the thrill, but see things completely different (that is, if you keep your eyes open and look)
So, I think of my life as a roller coaster - and backwards is the way I get to not start over, but just see things from a different angle. To get new perspective, and then when we marching forward for however long, a day, a week, a month- if I'm brave enough to look, I get to see things with fresh eyes.
Yes, my life is going a different direction. This time of year, I'm reminded how many of our friends and family members are getting ready to be empty-nesters, or are there already. I get a little jealous when I look at the coaster ahead- while I've got one close to solo flying, we still have about 13 more years of parenting before my all birdies fly the coop; because we chose to go backwards, grab a couple of kids and are start again.
I wouldn't trade this coaster ride for anything, it is a thrill and joy that keep me learning the faster I go backwards, the more precious the view!
Buckle up! It's a fast one.
STOP!
Happy Friday!
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wow.
ReplyDeleteSO full of such incredible nuggets.
thank you for this.
xo
I love roller coasters as well, and never thought of the perspective of the view going backwards! Really great stuff!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right-there is so much stepping forward and than falling backward as we shepherd our children up into adulthood. There are days it seems that there will never be forward motion again, and then, like the coaster, you just zoom so fast you think you'll all fly off the track!
Oh gurrrrrrrl!
ReplyDeleteAdoptive parents know, don't we about the going backwards.
If I could have a dollar for every time I thought we were 100% on something only to find us completely backwards a week later!!!
Thanks for making me know I am not alone.
Tee