Wednesday, April 27, 2011


This good looking kid is mine...

Besides turning 16 today, he

makes me laugh
freaks me out when he picks me up
could snap my neck if he wanted to
is wise beyond his years
is dedicated, disciplined and complex
and just made my night,  by taking me for a midnight walk and talk on the beach.

I am so glad I get to love him forever!

Happy Birthday Shayne.  I love you to the moon and back- again and am proud to be your mom. 

Monday, April 25, 2011

Washed Away, New Every Morning

I am at the beach.  Today.  Right now.  All week.  Anybody who knows me, knows I am at my all time favorite, would rather be here than anywhere else kind of place.  I love it here. 

I love the sand between my toes.  I love the smell of the salt air.  I love the sound of the waves.  I love the breeze and the sticky ooey can't get a comb through it web of mess it leaves in my hair.  

I feel close to God here; I see Him everywhere.

Today, as I walked up and down the beach, I was noticing the sand.  The huge starfish made from sand, and pretty seashells strategically placed along the top.  The sand castles.  The moats.  The tunnels.  The huge hole my teenager dug.  So huge, everyone that walked past noticed and commented.  So big, Isaiah and his new friends played in it the rest of the day. 

I thought about all the work that went into the masterpieces.  And I watched, as the tide came in, and begin to wash away at the creations of the beach goers.  I thought about how by tomorrow morning, all will be gone, and it will be just sand. Nothing fancy - just sand.  New every morning.

And isn't that just like God's mercy and grace.  New every morning.  We put so much work into creating masterpieces of with our lives, and sin begins to wash away at our creation.  We are nothing, just sinners.  And each morning, we have a fresh start with our lives to not create our own masterpieces, but to let God's love, and spirit wash over us, and have His way with us.  Much like the waves toss the sand, seaweed, shells, and everything else in it's path, God allows waves in our lives to move us and shape us into what He wants us to be.

I'm thankful for the beach, and God's love, and new mercy and grace.

What 'ya thankful for?

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Birthday Isaiah Jahdiel!

(note- I am determined to post this to celebrate my baby's birthday- but network connections are preventing photo's--- I will add those as soon as possible)

This boy...

  • still laughs like woody wood pecker when he gets tickled 
  • gives the best hugs 
  • climbs in bed with us at least 5 nights a week
  • shares his "good job" gummies earned at Occupational Therapy each Wednesday with all the ladies at the gym
  • won't eat "squishy" things 
  • has worn holes in all of his jeans, including the ones we bought less than a month ago 
  • totally frets and picks at his brother(s)
  • has a vivid imagination 
  • POUTS with all the appropriate pouting expressions 
  • tries relentlessly to move in on Shayne's girlfriend
  • holds a grudge if you hurt his feelings 
  • has decided that "messing up his hair" is a capital offense 
  • loves to color and free-hand draw 
  • says "uuuuuhhhhhhhh" with great emphasis (like his mom, shameful but true) 
  • sat on the couch today, head bowed, eyes closed, hands grasped and prayed for his brother 
  • is starting to ask "mommy, where's my sister" 
  • wears a size 2 shoe 
  • wears a size 5 shorts 
  • wears a small 4/5 shirt 
  • usually has a baseball cap on his head 
  • refers to pretty girls as "hers is hot" 
  • likes cheeseburgers better than chicken nuggets 
  • has a bad temper and can still throw a "10" tantrum
  • has to hug all his friends good-bye when we leave daycare each day 

He spent a good part of his birthday back in the car and having to share.  Two of his least favorite things, so I don't know that he'd say it has been a good birthday. But then again, he's with "mateleee" and the presents and cake are still to come.

Happy 5th Birthday Isaiah, I'm so glad I get to love you forever!
Strong-willed and all.

Friday, April 22, 2011

The Hard Love in 5 minutes?

Topic- Write 5 minutes- Stop- Post- Link back to:


Isn't all love hard?  As I ponder, quickly, the loves in my life, they all come with a cost.  Some more than others.  Families- hard love.  Birthing my son- a cost of 8 years of waiting, and then 9 months of respectful praying out of fear of loosing, then 16 years of raising.  Teenager love- is just hard.  And my younger boys- love born out of adopting.  Now, that's a different kind of hard love.  I don't even have time to go into that.  And my precious husband- almost 25 years of hard love.  Learning and failing and loving more. Loving better.  Then, there's the friendships- the closest friends I have, the ones who've been around since elementary school and we survived each other.  That  love has been hard.  Through thick and thin- cancer, bankruptcy, miscarriage to name a few.  And the greatest love of all, Jesus' love for me.  And even in my loving Him which should be so easy, but it is hard.  Hard because I'm human flesh, full of sin.  I want to love Him perfectly, but I don't.  In all cases, the love is worth the hard.  I wouldn't give up any of them, for an easy road.  In the hardness is where the sweet is found, the precious and the unconditional.  

I can't help but thinking of Jesus today, and how He lay down his life for me, voluntarily because he loved me hard.  I'm so thankful!


Happy Easter!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Happy Happy Birthday Elijah

This boy...

loves to entertain
has just discovered Backyardagains and can work the Wii to get them on Netflix
is NOT a morning person
thrives on praise and positive reinforcement
will eat most anything, but still likes tomatoes and chicken nuggets best
is learning to read, and write sentences and is actually taking spelling tests in Kindergarten
prefers it when it's Daddy's night
likes to wear two shirts at a time
enjoys playing with Christopher, his neighbor and friend
can quote his favorite movies and books, word for word
likes to help me cook
his smile eats his face up and you can't help but be drawn in by him
is funny
is serious
can be both at the same time
lost his first two teeth this year, but isn't that impressed with the tooth fairy (he's actually a bit scared of him)
wears a size 2 shoe - he's probably outgrown it, but hasn't started complaining yet
wears a size 7 jeans- 7 slim if we can find them
wears a size 6 shirt
holds you to everything you say, and sometimes even what you think :) as if a thought was delivered as a promise
is loved by his mommy, daddy and brothers more than he'll ever know

and, in addition to his impeccable style- just happens to be turning 6 years old today. 

Happy Birthday baby, I sure am glad I get to love you.

Monday, April 18, 2011

God Hugs!

It hasn't been the best of weeks.  If I was a whiner- OK, I am a whiner, so never mind.  Let's just say in the last seven days,  I've had my feelings hurt, been embarrassed and disappointed, found myself feeling a bit angry, scared and plain exhausted.  It started Tuesday and seemed to be going downhill from there.  Until Friday night.

When, as my Daddy God so often does, He used all the mess I call my life to stop me still.  To cup my face in His hands and smile at me.  Big smiles.  He did that through Priscilla Shirer's teaching and His own words.  And in the place of silence, and stillness I felt His embrace. 
Can I just say it feels so good when God hugs you. 
He found me underneath the big tree, feeling a bit overwhelmed again.  And He spent some time, just loving on me.  And being my Daddy.  

And, while He was holding my face, I heard Him say shut-up. OK, He didn't really say shut-up, He said "hold your peace" but that seemed too polite for what I needed to hear Friday night.  I just heard shut-up.  Check it out- Exodus 14:13-14

(Robin's paraphrase)
The Lord is doing stuff, do not be afraid and stand still.
Shut up and let God do the battle. 

So I reflected on those things that had me sad, mad, embarrassed and scared. 
Was I fearful ?(yeah)
Was I being still to see what the Lord was doing? (nope)
Was I silent?  BIG sigh, moving on. 

God's sweet conviction, because He just loves us so much.

He will deliver me. He will fight for me.
So this week, I'm going to pour over these verses some more, meditate on the spiritual principles and keep asking God if I'm believing what He says here.  

One of Priscilla's quotes that's just too good not to share-
"God doesn't speak to be heard, He speaks to be obeyed." 

Am I obeying? 

Continuing on with thanking Him for all things...
1000 Gifts #312-329

  • Isaiah's bouquet welcoming me home, and the "I love you mommy" that came with it
  • the cute girl I met from Bluff City TN, and how her accent made me miss my Daddy & Mom Barbara
  • protection for my wandering mom-in-law
  • it's not Alzheimer's
  • the new monitor at work, I can see, I can see
  • 24 hours of girl time @ Going Beyond
  • my hubby's support of girl time
  • protections through storms- emotional & actual weather storms
  • shared passions and burdens with my prayer partner and fellow foster/adoptive momma
  • new Capri's that are too big, before I ever wore them
  • little hands grasped so tight around my neck, I literally can't move
  • playing with my teenage son, even if I let him win.. (wink)
  • kids winter clothes stored, summer clothes folded and put away in time to pack for vacation
  • heated fellowship with my husband - that was overheard by "bottom answering" the cell phone .....oh be careful little mouth what you say
  • the over-hearers who happened to be family who will lovingly remind us of our now "shared" conversation 
  • getting to share a bit of my testimony at work

  • catching the eye of my Teri during communion yesterday, a quick hug accompanied with her gentle reminder that I was going the wrong direction, and instantly remembering 100's of reasons why I love her and thank God for her
  • Booger's birthday and once more celebrating with family
 Had a God hug lately?  

Leave me a comment and let me know what 'ya thankful for?

Friday, April 15, 2011

Five Minute Friday: On Distance

Topic- Go- Write 5 minutes - stop!

Linking back to:


Distance- it separates us. 

It keeps me from hugging my daddy on a daily basis.  It keeps me from seeing my brother and his family.  It keeps me from many things I love, like the beach. But it isn't always a negative thing.  Distance also keeps us safe, or saves us from harm.  Like, the distance from a moving car keeps my kids safe when playing outside, and distance from a rising river, etc. protects homes and property. 

And, the distance that separates me from my hugging my daddy, keeps me really close to my husband and kids.  It's depends on your view of the distance.  New distances (like when traveling) makes me miss what is usually taken for granted.

And, as I think about distance, I also think about how it separates us emotionally.  Letting distance sneak into a relationship creates barriers.  I hate it when that happens.

And what is the greatest distance- the one that keeps a sinner from the Savior.  My Savior, who traveled the furthest distance possible, from heaven to the cross, just for me.  Not really, He went the distance for you to.  

We are celebrating Easter soon, and I'm so glad He went the distance.  I'm so thankful that there is no distance too far for God to reach me. 

What can separate us from the love of God- nothing.  


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

These Feet & Their 3 Hour Tour

Life changes.  Sometimes we see it coming.  Sometimes it smacks us in the face.
Sometimes, it smacks us because we turn away from what we see coming because we don't want to accept it. 

We've been smacked.  It stings.

These feet...

decided to go out into the 86 degree heat and pull weeds
became disoriented
climbed up a steep hill to the alley
lost their shoes
wandered through the alley for about 3 hours
took several rest breaks
avoided the "scary dog"
finally asked a strange man for help
met a really nice police woman who made sure she got home
turned off the cabbage left cooking on the stove
laughed about how she could see the dandelions, but not her house
cannot explain how this happened

These feet.....

have walked our family into new territory.  Territory many have trod before us, but uncertain and a bit scary for us. 

These feet....
  • are forcing us to look at life straight on- no more turning our heads
  • are requiring us to make decisions, decisions that will bring us closer together as a family because in the end, everyone involved.....

love these feet
and the precious 89 year-old mom attached to them. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

At the airport, and more.

It had been a long day, My last day in OH meeting and training with my new team.  I woke up feeling very nauseous.  I prayed that I wouldn't puke in front of people I'd just met.  God was kind to me, and by noon I was feeling better.  We finished up our meetings and headed to the airport. 


Not since my lumpectomy, have I had such close encounters with TSA wands.  Back then, it was due to the chip implanted to mark abnormal cell growth.  Try explaining that one to strangers.  With that problem solved with my mastectomies, I have avoided the extra security for a while now.

I am happy to report that I now have first hand experience with the new full body X-Ray scan.  I stood on the brown feet like they told me to and made a triangle with my fingers over my head, elbows bent. I did feel a little violated but since I couldn't see the person inside the box who was checking me out, I survived it without "freaking out" until...

.....until he directed me to another set of brown footprints where the other TSA agent responded to her earpiece and informed me she needed to pat down my arm.  OK.
Then, she asked me to reveal what was in my upper left pocket.  I thought it was a few dollar bills, turned out it was two dimes.  Oh, that's why they're checking me out.  I thought showing them to her would be sufficient.  Not that simple.  She patted down my left arm again, feeling from pit to wrist, and ran her fingers under my watch band.  Really. 
Okay- now it had to end. 


She informed me that she would need to pat down my left leg, while I held the two dimes in my hand where she could see them.  I was  a little shaken by the pat down which in my opinion was a little too intimate and a little more than my leg. 

She continued to listen and respond to her earpiece and eventually gave me the okay to gather my things;  and I was free to regain my dignity. 

I figured that was the highlight of my night, until we got to Charlotte.  Just before boarding the plane to come home, I visited the ladies room.  On the way in, I noticed the table set up, almost like a yard sale with all sorts of products including mouthwash, toothbrushes, feminine products and gum.  I know, gum? Oh, and a tip jar.  I thought it odd, but didn't see anybody so I went on in.  About the time I found my seat, the show began. 

Precious ladies, I heard her yell... 
Precious Ladies
thank you for stopping by
precious ladies
If you are in need of
precious ladies
let me know what I can help you with

I was cracking up.  Talk about a tough job.  Trying to encourage strange women to tip you for gum in a bathroom.  Over constant flushing.  

I'm thankful...

  • I don't do public speaking in the ladies restroom
  • the intimate rub-down at security and the reminder that while I am not a threat, they are protecting me from others that may be
  • safe landings
  • children learning independence
  • getting to put my make-up on without interruption - two days in a row
  • ducks playing in outdoor fountains
  • hazelnut lattes - grande
  • trying new foods in new places
  • comfy, fluffy down bedding to keep me warm when my hubby can't 
  • not throwing up in Mason
  • people watching and the reminder of God's creativity in creating us 
  • my 4 year old's request for me to pray he will stop sneezing 
  • not having to lug my laptop home every night anymore 
  • that my mom taught me manners
  • my husband's strong voice and gift for singing, and that he uses that gift to honor God
  • welcome home hugs
  • thunderstorms, and snuggling my kids to calm their fears during said storms
  • the smells of summer and fresh cut lawns
  • best friends celebrating 23 years of marriage
  • God's relentless pursuit of making me more like Him 
Finding gratitude in everything- the good, the bad and the ugly is addictive.  The more I look for reasons to thank God, the more I find.  And, things that might have made me angry, now give me new reasons to thank Him.

Thousand Gifts #291-311

What 'ya thankful for?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Scars At 60 Something

Ya'll know me, so you know that I have a heart for adoption.  I have two chosen sons.  When I think about adoption, most days I think about my boys- and how they came to be mine.  And how we are desperately trying to heal their scars.  Today, I saw adoption from another view. 

God allowed me to eavesdrop on a conversation between two women today.  They were talking about their own childhoods.  Their mother up and left when they were young, around the ages of 4 and 6.  The reason for her disappearance is still in question.  There are theories, and rumors.  And, 5 decades later they still ponder the reasons and still search for answers. 

One sister was adopted.  One sister was not.

The adopted sister, while loved and blessed to have a family, a Christian family, still aches to know why she wasn't wanted.  Why she was put up for adoption.  Does she share the medical history of the one, she longs to know, but cannot find.  She wonders why she wasn't the chosen daughter, to remain with the father. 

The other, while not adopted was farmed out to strangers, who were paid to watch after her.  Then, after a while, her father would return and take her with him for a while.  Then, leave her again.  She was raised mostly by her grandparents.  Not because they had great love and affection for her, but because she was old enough to "take care of them."  She was disciplined (or so we'll call it) for normal kid things.  She blocks the memories.  She wishes she had been adopted. 

They talk about why each had it "better" and their fears that kept them apart for many many years.  They talk about their memories- at least the ones they can face.  Memories bring hot, running tears.  The talk brings shivers to my spine.  Some vivid, and some pushed so far back, they won't or can't bear to talk about.

I hear them laugh. 
I see them cry. 
I hear them give thanks.  They are thankful that after decades of being apart they found each other again.  They pushed past the fears of further rejection to to the courage to take that chance. 

They look alike. 
They act alike. 
How is this possible, when they were raised by different people in different places?
It's possible, because they are family.

I think again about my own boys.  I think about the difficulty we face day in and day out as they deal with their demons.  Their questions of why.
I am convinced, as I listen to the women share, that I can trust what my boys tell me.  That their memories are real.  And I am reassured that truth brings freedom. 
I decide again, to continue to tell them the truth.  To give them the answers they seek, even when the answers are ugly.

And I too wonder why. 
Did the one who abandoned the women do so to protect them? 
Are the rumors true? Will we ever know? 
And if it had been different, what would their lives be like today? 

This is where I barge in on the conversation and try to encourage them.  (it's what I do)  I feel the need to remind the women that God, the God they know and love, is sovereign.  Always.
If anything had been different, than all may have been different. 
Because their lives took the path it did, my life is taking the path it is. 

Who were these women?  These are women who are precious in God's sight. 

Just a mom, and an aunt. 

And I am blessed they are mine.  

Friday, April 8, 2011

If you met me....

The rules- write for five minutes- no edits- just write. 


If you were to meet me, I'd probably have a Diet Coke in my hand.  I do try to keep one handy at all times.  I would probably hug you right off the bat, unless you made it clear you aren't a "hugger." 

I might come across rude at first, because I am actually a bit shy.  I try hard to overcome that, so I will join in the conversation as much as possible. 

If you were to meet me, I will guarantee that I will quickly turn the conversation to my boys, or my husband because my family is the most important thing in my world.  I love to talk about Rex, Shayne, Elijah and Isaiah. 

If you were to meet me, I will bore you with details, because I have to "set the scene" for most of my stories. 

If you were to meet me, I will smile, but will be hoping you don't notice the missing teeth or the wrinkles, or the way I sometimes smile like a beaver but don't realize it until I see the pictures. 

If you were to meet me, I hope that you'd see the love of Jesus in my life, in the way I treat you.  But, if you met me in my car on a busy highway in traffic, you might just see me yelling at the other cars who can't hear me.

If you were to meet me, you might judge me and assume that I don't pay attention to my children's behavior or care about what people think about us, but I confess that I do care and get my feelings hurt easily when people assume the worst in me.


 I'd love you meet you too, so please leave a comment if you stop by.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

World Famous....

The setting: 
Montgomery Inn - The Original
World Famous - the Ribs King

I knew we were in trouble when they brought out the bibs

 Lauren, me & Amy
 bibbed and ready 

Normally, I wouldn't choose ribs, I leave that to Shayne. I do like shrimp, so after hearing for two days about the ribs and being told the ribs and shrimp was a great choice- I took the advice.  

Instructions for the plum sauce mixed with HOT mustard- "stir until it's the same color"

damage done.

Feeling satisfied stuffed, I was going to leave a few of the ribs.  I was chastised. encouraged to finish them off, so being a good team  player I did. 

And no, I did NOT look up how many points plus I was putting in my mouth, opting instead for a guilt-free experience.

I was not disappointed.  

Happy almost wordless Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Shaken, not Stirred.

I'm traveling for work, which meant I flew today.  It was WINDY today.  From Roanoke to Atlanta, and from Atlanta to Cincinnati- WINDY. 

Did I mention it was WINDY?

With each take-off, strange noises came from the metal outside my window.  The passengers around me were cracking jokes and talking about the recent news about holes in planes.  I felt my heart race a bit.

And, then when the noises stopped, the WIND shook the plane. My mind started thinking lots of things one shouldn't probably think while in the air.  Since I was busy fighting with my brain, I didn't get frustrated when the flight attendant stopped handing out Diet Coke in row 11 (I was row 12)  because of the "weather."

The rocking, brought a picture of a hand shaking dice before throwing them down. 

I thought I saw sixes on the wing.   No, it was snake eyes.

I started to get a little anxious. 

It just so happened, I was reading A Thousand Gifts at the time, so instead of getting all stirred up and stressing out, I decided to be thankful.  I prayed, and thanked God for my boys, and my husband, and the sunshine, and the job which offers so many opportunities for me.  I thanked him for the clouds- I do love looking at the clouds from above and not under them.  And while I was praying, He showed me that plane was in fact being held in a hand, God's hand.  I was no longer anxious.  

Thank you God for the shaking, and reminding that you always have me in the palm of your hand.  

When the squeaky, eery noises returned upon landing, I was no longer thinking about what might go wrong, but on what had gone right.  I was picturing God sitting the plane down on the runway, and knowing once again that He is in control of all things. 

Today was good.  Good to spend the day with Lauren & Amy, my traveling buddies and coworkers.  It was fun to chat with them over lunch and waiting to board planes and rides in rental cars.  It was good to meet my new Traffic team and getting to know them over a nice dinner in downtown Cincinnati.  I'm looking forward to the next few days and what they will bring.   

But, as I sit in this hotel, in peace and quiet I am really missing my guys.
I want to be near my teen right now, to encourage him for his wisdom.  And, as is typical when I travel without my dudes, I miss something important.  As was the case when I learned Elijah rode his bike tonight without training wheels- for the first time.  Thank you big brother Shayne for teaching him.  I am NOT bitter that there isn't a picture to document it, really I'm not. 
And, I'm really missing my husband, my friend who is taking on my half of our chaos and taking care of all things Allen while I'm eating at nice Italian restaurants and enjoying hotel silence.  Thanks and I luv you babe. 

I mentioned I was reading One Thousand Gifts  today. It's a rare treat to have an hour to read without interruption (except for those pesky plane noises) and Ann's words are so true and powerful and practical.  The  quote below is one of many that spoke to my heart today.  She's talking about grace, and our days- why God expects us to say good-bye to the ones we love, and why do any of us deserve more, more than one day and why don't we all ask why we are allowed more? 

"When I realize that it is not God who is in my debt but I who am in His great debt, then doesn't all become gift?" -Ann Voskamp

Today is a gift.  I don't know why I got another and others did not.  I pray that I will remember to ask God why I was allowed more, and in the asking be thankful. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Wisdom hides in the strangest places...

Having a teenager is an experience that gives great opportunity for prayer. We are learning as we go, and recently, we have learned to simply let go.  Reminding ourselves, yet again that our son(s) belong to God, not us, and we can train, guide and pray but ultimately their choices are their own. 

I've prayed more specifically in recent weeks.  I've felt a little desperate. Okay, ALOT desperate.

God has answered our prayers. Isn't He awesome like that.  We pray, He answers, We're shocked. 

I'm thankful that at least for this week, the answers came quickly.  I know, from experience that many times the answers come over months or years.  And I'm not fooled that it will be smooth sailing from here on out.  I've got too many boys and too many years to make that assumption.  But,  I am trying to remember my job is to train them in the ways of the Lord- and He will speak to them, in their quiet times together.  My son has access to God's wisdom, and he doesn't need me, for him to hear from God. 

I let go,  and God worked.  I wonder how many times I've gotten in the way because I couldn't or wouldn't let go. 
I always play in my head, Sheila Walsh saying "God, will I still love you if he isn't okay" in reference to her son Christian.  We were at a Women of Faith event.  The words pierced my soul, because I have wondered that so often.  The right answer is Yes.  But I got to tell you, sometimes it is difficult to keep on loving God when our world is falling apart.  I didn't say it was right- but I'm just keeping it real, and I can't be the only one who has to re-declare to God that YES, even in this storm, even if you don't answer me, I will still love you. 

And I'm so thankful that His love is unconditional towards me, not dependent on anything I do. 

So much to be thankful for, including
1000 Gifts #277-291
  • the sleepy eyed sweetness of early morning risers
  • my sister, Nae, who spent all day with me recently, helping me update my blog, letting me vent, sharing our favorite soda's and just being, well sisters.
  • last minute dinner with Keith &Jill,
  • further surprise getting to dine with Daniel & Whitney, and
  • sweet Allie who kept our boys
  • everyday heroes
  • Shayne wanting to spend his Saturday afternoon with me and his brothers
  • fun family movie time
  • hearing my husband sing to me, all the way to work
  • stepping out of the shower and hearing the birds singing
  • how God seemed to play peek-a-boo with the sun and clouds on Saturday, with raindrops in sunshine dancing periodically through the day
  • the peace of God that passes all understanding
  • a judge who cares more about the children's best interest in his courtroom, than biological parents rights
  • the funny things my boys say- like "hers off the hook" and telling me they want JJ to be their mommy, you know, cause I'm so mean.
  • my momma's Saturday am phone call

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Heroes & a Coward on a Sunday Afternoon

It was a typical Sunday- we rushed to get to church,  worship, praise and preachin' and then off to lunch.  It got a little different when we pulled off the I81 ramp at Thirlane, en route to El Torreo to meet Teri & JJ. 

Immediately we saw him.  A stranger laying face down in the middle of the road, his puppy barking hysterically, his motorcycle crashed.  The accident had just happened.  I got out of the van and rushed over, calling 911. A few other people were running towards him as well.  As they relayed the information to me, and I relayed it to the 911 operator, it became clear this was a hit and run.  Several people saw the white Ford pickup hit the motorcycle, sending the driver about 20 feet from his bike. The driver of the truck sped off.  Coward.

I completed the 911 call.  The operator told me they were sending an ambulance, and putting out an APB on the truck.  The couple  in the car in front of us had gotten the puppy calmed down, and took him to the man's side. The man was more concerned about his puppy than himself.  It seemed the puppy was more concerned about his owner. 

About the time the police arrived, so did another man.  The man had seen the accident and followed the white truck, taking down the license plate, and then came back to give a statement and let the police know where the truck was parked.  Hero!

The motorcyclist was injured, but we don't know how extensively.  He was taken by ambulance to the hospital, and his puppy was able to ride along with him. 

I'm glad the heroes out numbered the cowards today.

We went on to lunch, and finished our Sunday as planned.  We were delayed a bit, but for the two motorists, their lives were changed today.  I can't help but wonder where they are tonight.... hospital?  Jail?

I'm praying for both of them, and thanking God their are still people who aren't afraid to do the right thing.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Dreams on Hold and that's Okay.

For as long back as I can remember, I've been a dreamer.  A dreamer of simple things.  Never of riches, or fame. I dreamed of being that woman in the bible, that Proverbs 31 lady.  I dreamed of being precious, worth more than rubies.

And, when my parents' divorce became part of my story, I dreamed of having a normal family.  Whatever that meant.

I poured my hope into writing poetry.  I poured my hurts into writing poetry.  I dreamed of happy days. I dreamed of motherhood and marriage.  I feared my dreams would never come true. 

I would day-dream of rising early, preparing breakfast for my man, getting our 12 children off to school and volunteering at hospitals, baking cookies and cleaning house.  I never dreamed of a career.  My dreams were always at home.

Fast forward- to college drop-out days, remembering career was not important.  I came home and met the man of my dreams.  We wed, nearly 25 years ago.

But my dreams, turned into nightmares.  12 babies did not come.  Eight years of infertility before finally conceiving and birthing a son. 

I dreamed of staying home with my son.  God said not now!

That dream is still being dreamed.


They are always on my mind- whether I'm at work or at home.

I whined to God.  In 2006, I had been directing women's ministry, teaching and speaking and desperately wanted to be home full time. Again, He said not now.  I resigned from women's ministry, and from my dreams as we took on chaos and received two more our our desperately desired dozen.  Not as we dreamed, but as God designed. 

No longer dreams of  "normal" family. 

No longer dreams of hospital volunteering, tho' my nightstand may resemble one. 
 (by the way, the meds are for menopause- never in my dreams!) 

 I now volunteer to learn about my the struggles of my children's past, and future. I'm learning about attachment disorders, post-traumatic stress, SPD, IEP, child neglect and abuse, the circle of security, fight or flight. And teenagers. Control! Control! Control!

And in my dreams, I hear God.

I hear Him tell me that my obedience is better.  Better than what I may have dreamed as a little girl.  And when I listen carefully, He whispers be still.  Come to Me.  I will carry you.  I will be your strength.  I will be your strong tower.  I will be your hope.  I will be! 

I still dream of becoming that Proverbs 31 lady.  I dream of speaking and writing and sharing my dreams,  ever changing dreams of being all that God desires of me to be.  New dreams, different dreams of being a wife, mommy, daughter, sister, and friend.  Oh, and yes, career.  I still dream of being worth more than rubies.

But if, or when the dreams I dream ever come to be, really matter not.  I believe God.  
That His ways are not mine.  His plans are better. 

I challenge you to dream God dreams for your life! And if you do, She Speaks Conference is a place for you.  It's about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God and that your heart is to serve Him and His daughters, as He leads.
She Speaks only because He Speaks!

She Speaks Conference 

And for those of you who know about Multitude Monday and Ann's blog- find out about scholarship opportunity to She Speaks by clicking below.

Five Minute Friday- A few of my favorite things.

I love to write, but since my thoughts get really wordy it usually takes me a couple hours to get a post up.  (Including kid interuptions and life in general) so when my sister told me about this, I wanted to play along.  And, since I can do it on a work break, I should have time to potty and refill my Diet Coke without any problems. 

The rules...
Write for only five minutes. Don’t edit. Don’t over think. Don’t stifle your creativity.

Here goes...

I love walking on the beach and feeling the breeze in my face
my children crawling into bed with us to snuggle
the smell of the bathroom after a hot shower and cologne or perfume has been sprayed
purging papers and closets of no longer needed clutter
my husbands hand in mine
the Nance's and the decades of friendship we've shared- and looking forward to the decades to come, friends that are family
diet coke
diet coke with fresh lemon
diet coke with fresh lime
road trips
hearing my kids laugh
making my kids laugh
good dessert in a hot bathtub, with lit candles
a clean house
time with family
hugs when you haven't seen someone for a long time
God- and how He is part of my life
spring rain
planting flowers
new recipes that turn out well
the excitement of loosing weight- no matter how small a loss
my husbands arm around me in church
speaking on being a wife and mom
winning - at anything
swinging at the park
drive thru's
my church
living on a cul-de-sac and having kind neighbors
rocking my children and the memories of when they would still fit in my lap
praying by my sleeping kids
fireplaces and warm blankies

(I confess, this was easier than I thought, except I did correct one naughty typo- I'll do better next week)

Back to work...happy Friday ya'll!
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