Tuesday, February 15, 2011

ME- do him good.

This is a picture of my NKJV bible. 
Proverbs 31 to be exact. 
Since I was a teenager, I have loved this passage.
The virtuous woman...
 worth more than rubies- children rise up and call her blessed-
oh my children are rising up and calling me - oops, never mind! 

like the merchant ships (hmmm- I'm getting as big as one)
no fear for her household (this probably needs some work too- that's for later) 
clothed with strength and dignity.
laughs at the days to come- HA HA HA

  I wannabe her.

I most likely will never be. 

I keep trying.

Proverbs 31:11-12 NIV
Her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value, she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

One of the ways I fail to measure up to the incredible standard she set, is in doing my husband good.  I have funny stories I have shared about failing in this area. 
I have shared publicly and led bible studies trying to encourage women to do their husbands good too.

I won't say I don't like this verse. 
(how can I say I don't like God's word)

I can say, I don't like how I fail at this command

there is no but. 
there is no unless.
there is no if.

Just- do him good.
and do it all my days. 

what if he isn't meeting my needs -- oops, that's a but
what if he is rude---oops, that might be unless
what if--- oops, that's an if

No dependencies. 

I continue to be convicted of this time and time and time and time again. 
I keep getting caught up in the buts, unless' and ifs.  It seems to me that my doing him good should depend on how he is doing at the "love her like Christ loved the church command" 
And isn't it my job to remind him of that "love her" command too. 

 NOT & NO!

So here I am again-- telling God I'm sorry.  Sorry that my love can't trust me always to do what is best for him, and not do what feels best for me. Sorry for disobeying God's command.

But it's haaaaarrrrd and it's not fair (oh, is that whining, I guess it is) 

I will keep trying, because I so want to be her. 
I'm a P31 wannabe! 

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