Thursday, February 24, 2011

Excuse me, you did WHAT?

I don't get mad too often- at least not really M A D! 

But here I am.  In this place of anger.  I know what you're thinking-  God said not to be angry.
No, what He says is...

Ephesians 4:26- Be angry and do not sin.  (or Robin's translation- keep control)
So I'm being really careful.

I'm new to this special needs education parent role.  Every time I think things are settling down, upheaval.  I am learning alot, much faster than I prefer to take information in.  And we're only in Kindergarten.

It's a bit exhausting, hearing from the school everyday. The sarcastic notes. The phone calls. My son's tears and dread.  We are learning to deal with that.  But is my son really the first child in her 20 something years of teaching that hasn't completed his work during the day. Needs to learn personal space. Requires a little 1:1 instruction. Likes attention. Encourages others to sing.  Can't remember all his sight words on command. Needs to practice counting to 100.  Talks when she turns her back.  Misses his mommy during the day.  Gets bored.

We know he is high maintenance- we live with him. Because we live with him, we know what works. Forcing him into a mold, because "her classroom" has a reputation to uphold, will not work.  He will not be forced to be someone he isn't. 

It was so easy with Shayne.  Never heard a peep from the school until his 3rd grade year.  (doesn't everybody has trouble in 3rd grade?) Then, not another peep until his freshman year.  Minor- he was tardy to 1st period five times.  Minor, I would say.  We knew what was going on, we were involved but school was school and home was home and there was no intermingling of the two.

Maybe it is just different because in the last 10 years, society decided that 5 year olds need to be smarter, faster.  If I hear "Kindergarten is the new first grade" one more time I might scream.  I believe in education.  Reading, and writing, and  even  "sight words" have a place.  But it sure feels like the focus in this Kindergarten classroom is a bit intense.  

I suspect that this isn't really about my son, or his behavior.  It's about control.  His teacher's lack of control in making him fit into the mold she believes he should be in.   

here's the line _________________________________
yesterday, she crossed it.

Excuse me- you did WHAT? 
And you think that's okay because?????

ohhhhhh I'm teetering, but in control.
Wait, I think I raised my voice to her.  Oh man, is that sin? 

I am now having flashbacks to all the comments, remarks and notes that have caused our stomachs to knot  a bit since September.  The conversations I've had with my son; and then in following up with the school being told he was exaggerating, or mis-understood, or even that he is not being truthful.  hmmm.  And now I'm wondering exactly what my son may be enduring during the day- since these outbursts are never "observed." Is he getting his needs- the ones his  teacher and school personnel identified and agreed to, met?  Or is he just getting a hard time. 

I don't have the option of pulling him out of school, tho that's what my heart desires. Instead, I am again searching and googling and trying to figure out what I need to do to best advocate for my son. 

We have a meeting with the principal tomorrow.

I hate confrontation.  But, since menopause and me became such good friends, I am much less fearful of it.

So watch out Roanoke County,  here comes one MAD momma!

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