Monday, March 22, 2010


isaiah- where's my cookie
mommy- i don't know, but you weren't supposed to have a cookie

isaiah- but daddy said i could have a cookie in my bedroom
mommy- you didn't eat dinner - you aren't supposed to have a cookie tonight

isaiah- but daddy said (now crying) somebody ate my cookie
(mommy remembers that indeed daddy told him he could eat a cookie in his room)
isaiah- you're mean mommy-
mommy's heard this before- but he said it with respect :)

isaiah- looking up at daddy with big tears- will you spank her butt, she's mean
daddy- i can't spank mommy

isaiah- why, mommy's mean, she won't give me a cookie and you said (now pitifully sad big brown eyes)

Mommy's leaving at 6am tomorrow to go to CA for work the rest of week -

Mommy gave her baby a cookie.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I wonder why......

When I tell people I adopted two boys, one of their first questions is "what country did you adopt from?"

My teenager always tells me my hair looks pretty when he wants something?

Teaching my small boys the proper name for their body parts- comes back to haunt me when the youngest repeatedly announces in the hallways at church, that he was kicked in said boy part.

When people call me and get my voicemail saying I am on the phone, so they immediately call me on a different phone?

My kids outgrow their clothes in the middle of a season.

Diet Coke tastes better on ice.

Do you wonder?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Proud (not sure)

Wow- my Shayne had his first job interview today 03-17-10, 4:30 p.m. Shenandoah Baptist Church.

The job in question- he wants to be a sewer rat at Camp Eagle. (I know what you're thinking so to clarify yes, it is much what it sounds like) But it is the perfect job for him. He loves the outdoors- it's outside. He loves to work hard- there's plenty. He enjoys making new friends- new opportunitis every week. He wants to earn money- there is even some of that.

I am blown away by the possibility- no, the reality that my precious baby boy is turning into a man. I want to slow it down, it is happening so fast. He is ready- I am not.

I want him to be a baby a little longer. NOT happening! So, if he must grow up so fast that he now thinks he must have a job; I can't think of one any better than Camp Eagle. It is a place he already loves. Thank you Katie and Kari for introducing our family to Camp Eagle. Shayne has gone to camp every summer since he was old enough to stay the week (actually he got to go a little early- we had connections)

If he gets the job, he will be working for people he already respects. Surrounded by God's nature, and God's word. Eating, sleeping and working alongside teens and adults who are in love with Jesus. He won't just be growing into a man; but growing into a Godly man. How cool is that!

Today, however I found myself sitting and waiting on the outside. Outside of the office, outside of the process, outside of some pieces of his future. I don't think I like it on the outside, just saying.

He wasn't nervous- I was. He wasn't sweaty- I was. He wasn't proud- I am.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


I was blessed today to experience two levels of comfort (un) and very. For those of you who may not know, I had a double mastectomy in December 2003. It was quiet a journey - 4 surgeries in 12 months- it was by far the most difficult physical experience of my life. I went back to see my surgeon today- nothing major but just walking in to his office brought back a flood of memories; and definitely made me uncomfortable. I could hear him in the hallway talking biopsies, and melanoma's, and surgeries, and telling someone he was sorry and hoped everything worked out. My stomach hurt. I was anxious to get out of that all too familiar exam room. I left feeling so very grateful.

Then, I came home and was blessed to be very comfortable. Dinner (spaghetti) our specialty, shared with friends. Friends that have been around for so long people are telling us we are starting to look like each other. We tried to talk over the chaos that is such a huge part of our world. Eight people talking at once. My mom taught me that was rude, but it seems to work for us. We ate dessert together, (Cookies & Cream pie)and watched Biggest Loser; this has become our Tuesday night routine.

It's a good routine.
We like it.
We keep repeating it.
'Cause we like it.
It is comfortable.

But, 6 years ago we all might have feared these crazy nights wouldn't come. Just 4 months after my mastectomies, my look-a-like, lifelong friend was diagnosed with cancer too.

She too had quiet a journey.
Different from mine; but both our journey's brought us closer and we walked them together.
God healed her too.

So, here we are on a Tuesday night; all of us- husbands, wives, teenagers, and pre-schoolers. Friends.

Comfortable and content and thankful for our chaos and God's blessings in it.

Monday, March 8, 2010


When I was a little girl- all my dreams led to being a mommy. It's all I ever wanted. But I learned that no matter how bad I wanted it, becoming a mom would not be an easy, or quick task. Eight years of infertility brought me my precious Shayne, and 3 1/2 years of he......lp to get my little guys all legal and mine. Now you have to know right now that I LOVE BEING A MOM! With that said, I can't figure out why the thing I love more than life can be the same thing that frustrates me to tears. How can I be complimenting my son, who is becoming a man before my very eyes one second; and yelling at him the next. (yes, I yell.) I know what you are thinking- "I'd never admit to that in writing" and to be honest, I don't think I've read too many mom confessions as I've blog surfed, but I believe in keeping it real, and frankly being a mom is hard.

So what happened to my dreams... Close your eyes and see it with me, we wake up right on time without an alarm clock, I'm home and not at a job all day, with plenty of time to bake cookies, read stories, volunteer at school, help my neighbors, have soup to nuts dinner ready precisely at 5pm when my husband arrives home from work, with a smile, of course. The laundry is folded (all ten loads) toys put away and happy, happy happy all the time. That's how it is for you, right? I was supposed to be the perfect mom- the mom who never yells (fail) who always smiles (fail) who is always patient and selfless (fail, fail) Ok, I will share my Diet Coke from McDonalds (my fave) so maybe that's a half-success.

Anyway, I know I can't be alone in this battle (this is when you give me a hearty AMEN) This battle for my boys to learn the basics- kindness, respect, hard work, generosity, pick up your socks and underwear off the bathroom floor, don't eat that. Put your trash in the can, and don't pick your nose -don't eat that (fail). The battle for their souls- that they will know and love Jesus. The battle for their time and mine. The battle for them to grow up and not need a therapist who reassures them by stating "you know this is really your mom's fault"

Yes, it feels sometimes, like I'm loosing the battle- like when my teenager won't talk to me or when my pre-schoolers exclaim through tears "you're mean mommy, I don't like you" for the sixth time since we got home. I know, that has never happened to you right? liar.

I guess I'll keep fighting, and telling them I love them to the moon and stars and back, and grabbing those sweet moments, smelly kisses (it's a boy thing) and keep on keeping on because I will win the war. Why, because there is no higher calling from God, my boys are worth every tear and I do love being a mommy. Fight On!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I love the words that our kids get wrong- we know what they mean but they just don't say it right yet.. like "lasterday" is yesterday... "asss" (excuse me, I'm really not cussing here) is Isaiah's yes. Their innocence is a hoot- so I couldn't help but laugh when Elijah saw the tiger on the counter and looked at his brother and exclaimed... YOU'RE A STOLDER! You stold the tiger from church.

Whether the tiger was actually stolen is a discussion for another day :)
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