Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tired and all!

My wonderful husband cleaned our carpets today. Yeah, but it left us with only one option for dinner since they were still wet. Going out! When it was just the three of us, we used to love eating out, but not so much since our family expanded. Initially, it was the screaming. Poor little guys didn't know what to do in a high chair or even in public places. As they grew, our frustrations grew too- rarely did I eat hot food; Rex and I spent the majority of the meal trying to convince them to use their inside voices, stay in their seats, don't throw food, encouraging them not to yell, punch, bite, scream, write on the tables or throw a one of their famous tantrums. Not to mention the countless time outs and trips to the bathroom (before we were even potty trained)and being their own personal jungle gym waller, waller, waller. When possible, Shayne and our precious Kristen & Phillip often opt to sit in another booth. I think maybe they were embarrased and who could blame them. Yep, there have been plenty of stares most every meal in public for the last three years. I know, I'm setting the scene, but I want you to truly appreciate how exciting it was for us tonight. It had been a pleasurable night. We ate our dinner and our children were actually good- Shayne even commented that they are acting alot better lately. We laughed, and talked, stabbed rolls and played peanut darts. Rex and I enjoyed the glimmer of hope. And then, our waitress came over to check on us. She looked at me and said "You look really tired, are you okay?" Trying not to take that personally, only because I am really tired. I can tell you the exact minute I became tired and I've been tired ever since (it was 10/23/06 5:30 pm) So to try to explain my constant drooping, dark encircled eyes I joked that I was tired because I was 40 (something) and raising small children. And then, she said it- some of the sweetest words I've heard in years- are you ready- she said "they are so well mannered." WOOAH- a perfect stranger thinks my precious boys are well mannered. (I'm pretty sure she hadn't seen the bread with bullet holes) anyway, I think that took 3 years off my face. Our friends are obligated to encourage us with sweet words but strangers- no commitment there, she must have meant it. She walked off, not having any idea what our lives were like or how much work we've put into getting them to sit in their seats for an hour. Or did she? She came back a bit later and asked if we got the boys at birth? I explained our story beaming a little (well alot) at the part of our adoption being final recently and then she shook her head and said I know. ??? then she told me she understood; she had given her son up for adoption 4 years ago. My heart sank because as a mom who has given birth and a mom who has fought to protect and keep as my own, I understood. I understood how much she must love him. I understood what a precious gift she gave to a family like ours. She gave more than birth to her son, she gave him a family. She smiled, said he was with a great family and it was a good decision. I looked at my three boys- I wouldn't have it any other way- looking tired and all.

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