Adoption brings different pictures to different people's minds. Since we are a trans-racial adoptive family- it brings added dimension. It's fun when we go to pick up our boys from a new place and they are the last ones to be picked up- the relief on the caregivers faces when they call out Mommy or Daddy. It's not so fun, when they are screaming for the other parent- and the policeman at Disney follows us around until it become clear that they really do belong to us. I usually chuckle when people ask, "Oh, where'd you get 'em" like we picked them out in the Kid aisle while shopping at Kroger. The assumption is usually Africa, and I enjoy saying- no, right here in Roanoke City. We believe opening our home and hearts to foster/adoption was in direct obedience to God. And we didn't think we could tell God that we'd obey, but only if we got a perfect child. We prayed for over a year, that God would bring the right kid to our home. The call came at 3:30 in the afternoon- I was sitting at my desk at work when the phone rang. TWO BABIES? YES! We thought because they were 6 & 18 months old at the time, it would be easy. NOT! The chaos began right then, and it has never stopped. I learned quickly not to judge other people. Our reality is so different than what people perceive our reality to be. There are screams, fits, rages, tear and tantrums every day. If it isn't one of my boys, I make sure I throw one. :) We still carry our kids alot, and often have people tell us to "put that boy down, he's too big to be carried." They don't know that we are making up for lost time because my boys weren't held, picked up, fed, rocked and nurtured during the critical early months of their lives. They had a traumatic beginning and it is taking years to overcome. I asked Shayne Friday morning, what was so different for him since adopting his brothers. He replied "our home isn't peaceful anymore" I had no argument- it was true. In many ways our family is in a war. My boys are driven by fear and anger, and their need to control everything! I am trying to gain their trust, by loving them unconditionally. Isn't that how it is with us, as adopted kids into God's family. We - I fight him everyday. He tells me He loves me - but I don't believe Him and I fight. I want to control my circumstances, because I am afraid of what I don't know. I don't trust God fully. I will love my boys today, tomorrow, a year from now, 10 years from now. There isn't anything they can do to stop me from loving them. So I have to believe that because God promised His love to me, there is nothing I can do to stop God from loving me. Or stop loving you. So, where are you? Are you already adopted into God's family? Do you trust His love for you, or do you fight for control too? Maybe you've been His child for a really long time, and the world is telling you to get down, you're too big to be carried. They may not know your story, your history, your beginning. Let Him carry you!
This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed. Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, says my soul, Therefore I hope in Him! The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him.
No matter what your journey is, He will carry you. There is hope.
I know we couldn't do this, if it weren't for God's strength, God's hope. He carries me everyday.
What do you think of when you hear the word adoption?
I can tell you what it is for us:
- Adoption is a Blessing!
- Adoption is a High Calling!
- Adoption is Worth Every Minute!
Do you have an adoption story? I'd love to hear it- send me a comment or an email.
In addition to being thankful for my journey, the list goes on....
clearance rack jeans in my size
$10 Cash on a $10 purchase at JCPenney
long, uninterrupted conversations with Rex
Nerf darts, all washed and clean found in dryer- reminding me of fun in my home
testimonies of God's grace
meeting new people, who share our island experiences
a date with my teenage son- and the great talk we had
brown bodies, bright white eyes greeting me in the darkness
strong husband hands holding mine
waking up to a back rub
head on collision- avoided last second
sunlight bouncing off the bathtub
difficult decisions that didn't have to be made
a Sunday afternoon play date for Elijah & Isaiah-their first
dinner with family we haven't seen in a while
What 'ya thankful for?