Wednesday, November 3, 2010

cucumber remedy

i'm not sure but i may be in crisis.

my body is getting all weird on me

i can no longer bend over to tie my shoes or cross my legs-- seems like I've got wisdom i didn't use to have (that's what Anita Renfroe calls fat- love her and she is hilarious http://www.anitarenfroe.com/)

anyway

if it isn't missing, it's appears to be sagging.  it's just seems wrong. 

and then, there are my eyes..

i can no longer see without my glasses (which are bi-focal- prisms) so, when i decided to take the puffy eye issue into my own hands and resort to the suggestions i've seen on tv, it got kind of comical.

cucumber is supposed to be good for under-eye puffiness, i got me some puffiness going on.  cucumber scrubs, rubs, potions and lotions were too pricey for me.  so,

i just bought a cucumber

i removed my make-up, sliced up the cuke and headed to bed. 

problem-  my favorite show was on tv.  i couldn't see the tv through the cucumber, or without my glasses. 

i did what any self-respecting desperate 40 something tired looking momma would do.

i slid the cucumber slices down just a bit, put on my glasses and tilted my head just so... perfect. 

not sure when i dozed off or when the cucumbers slid off of my face 

you can imagine my shocking surprise to feel them under my knees as i rolled over- not remembering the entire lucy ricardo scenario from a few hours before.

in my slumber i laid them on the nightstand, removed my glasses and went back to sleep.

not sure if it removed the puffiness, but for 59 cents it was so much fun, i might just try it again.

and, since cucumbers have zero points for all you weight watcher fans, it should help reduce the size of my wisdom.

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